The count down to a New Year has officially begun. The later part of the year has quite frankly been hard. Hard, for the grief settled in my belly after the loss of my Uncle and my Father. Hard, for the ways I have felt challenged by people’s reactions to grief’s impact on productivity, and ability to do EVERYTHING. Hard, because transitions – ALL TRANSITIONS – bring FEAR. In searching for practices to help me get comfortable with fear I was excited to stumble on this talk by Lisa Nichols. I figured in my practice to #trustBlackwomen, I could have faith her connection and path around fear would be wisdom I would need for the New Year. I was not disappointed!
C.A.R.E. Strategies promises a lot of things to our partners, but we never promise the capitalized notion of “perfection”. We promise ACCOUNTABILITY, and invite them into a reciprocal process of accountability. This has meant working my own edges around “perfection” and being compassionate with myself (and others) when miss steps happens. To be in this level of vulnerability requires one thing, RELATIONSHIP. The relationships we build with our partners are crucial to making accountability a sustainable practice. Strong positive relationships are the essential container to offer feedback, and create the road map to the impossible. But here too is fear – fear of being rejected, fear of people taking advantage, fear of being misunderstood, and fear of being devalued.
and so I must redefine my relationship to fear.
Through daily practice, community support, and wisdom teachers (like Lisa) I am changing my relationship to fear. While that is taking shape in my personal life in all manner of ways, for C.A.R.E. Strategies it has meant allowing my principles to dictate my partnerships, and not being afraid of asking for what I need. It has also meant setting boundaries (some hard, some soft, some permeable) and allowing Black Queer Freedom to by the guiding light for contracts, partnerships, services, and decisions. This counter cultural notion of how to run a business has meant again I grappled with fear- fear of not being sustained by the work, fear of my reputation being ruined, fear of being hurt, fear of and not able to increase impact. While I would like to say I have conquered FEAR and it no longer impacts my decision making, I can’t. But I can say I am declaring publicly -2017 will be the year of taking the LEAP with fear in one hand, and the power to create in the other!